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2005-09-25 - 2:42 p.m.

They think I'm a Lady Who Lunches

So lately, as a few people have been kind enough (and astute to boot) to
point out to me, I've not been myself. (Who have I been? I'm not quite sure,
but if I could choose, you know it would be a cowgirl with a voice like Billie Holiday who could also fly.)

As far as I am aware, I do not have a chemical imbalance but am only
suffering from the effects of going positively guano crazy.

So in explanation, and without further ado, here is the abridged version of
my past month or so ...

First of all, as I've updated recently, my parents moved into a house about two hours from us. Since my Dad had to start at his new job, but my Mom had to stay in Arkansas, where my parents have lived for six years, to sell the house, etc, this meant Dad was on his own to close on their new house and set up there. That's the backstory to Operation Dad Moves In, in which I had a starring role. There was also a few cameos by some huge mutha fuckin' roaches.

Then my sister arrived with pets in tow and started grad school.

And then we left for vacation.

Then we had a run-in with my mother-in-law and brother-in-law, and consequently the hub has forbidden me to use the "H word" from that point forward.

Don't worry, I'll fill you in, but let me share right now with you.

Fast forward to now, when I am trying to get my resume and portfolio and other good stuff together ...

First of all, I get an invitation from one of my neighbors for a coffee thingy on a Tuesday morning. Honestly, who is available on a Tuesday morning? I assure you, I am not. Somehow, I am expected to be there, with obligatory big hair and boucl� suit.

Then I get a phone call from someone from the garden club (shut up, SHUT UP!) to let me know that somebody died and also that I need to get around to selling wrapping paper for the club.

When exactly did I turn into my mother?

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