PrixMadonna

For the past several days, the Hub has been studying for an exam which he had to take yesterday on the safety of food handling because sometimes he has to oversee some food handling and I guess that includes him knowing how to handle it safely. That means I have been subjected to several days of detailed descriptions of food borne bacterium, toxins, viruses, you name it. It�s been grizzly but a welcome departure from the Civil War and Petersburg lectures that invariably come from him reading nearly every respected title on the subject.

Well, somewhere in the middle of an argument Thursday night that started with selecting interior paint colors and ended with the proper disposal of drywall, I�d spouted off that my dear Hub should spend some time reviewing for a test on the appropriate responses to his wife during such arguments and then he could spout off said facts and lecture on THAT!

I guess at about one in the morning this seemed like both an appropriately mean and clever thing to say.

Of course, we both found this pretty amusing*, and therefore I am delivering it to him and you, since it could help many out there. Consider it a Public Service.

*When we went through that pre-marital counseling stuff, the minister found that our use of humor to deflate an argument was healthy and effective. If only he knew.

When engaged in an argument with your wife, the following is an appropriate response:
A. �It�s not MY fault.�
B. �Yeah, well!�
C. Looking at her blankly and blinking your eyes as if you are the penguin from Wallace and Grommit.
D. Offering candy.

Which of your following real-life reactions were appropriate to your wife�s request for an apology:
A. Stalling for time.
B. Pretending you didn�t hear her.
C. Apologizing by saying, �I�m sorry you feel that way.�
D. Tap dancing with the routine ending with jazz hands and an apology.

Which of the following is limited to half hour dissertations:
A. The Civil War
B. Star Wars, Comics
C. Lighthouses
D. All of the above

Which of the following is inappropriate in public:
A. Passing gas next to your wife in a public place and then taking off so it looks as if she laid it.
B. Recounting the story of the time when your wife foolishly tossed you a hammer and it inadvertently hit you.
C. Talking about/pointing out health code violations in a restaurant.
D. All of the above

_______ is another word for outdated periodicals.
A. Collectors items
B. End tables
C. �I�ll get to them�
D. Recycling

Which of the following should you have discussed with your wife first:
A. Purchasing romantic vacation to Lighthouse Convention.
B. Joining a work-share for an organic farm.
C. Purchasing a �Weed Dragon,� the handy flame-throwing garden tool.
D. All of the above

At what times should you be supervised?
A. When using a sledge hammer and/or power tool.
B. Upon deciding that it really is necessary to go up on the roof.
C. When deciding if a wild animal really needs to be rescued.
D. All of the above

The answer is D.

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